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[Jul. 25th, 2006|12:35 am] |
It's late at night.
I am just sitting here like I usually do.
Thinking about amanda.
wishing I was with her.
but I'm not.
I never am when I most want to be...it's horrible and frusterating.
whatever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|02:09 pm] |
I feel like I'm not going anywhere in life.
It's a pretty horrible feeling. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|05:01 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | apartment | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Sun Fall Festival | ] |
I'm just sitting here at 6:01 in the morning. I've been posting in this thing since 5:00.
I got woken up. I had to leave my girlfriends house because I wasn't supposed to spend the night or anything, at least not that night, but we fell asleep anyway. Not really on purpose, but kind of mostly on purpose. But yeah...so I woke up around 5:00 and came home and I have been just up. which is stupid because I have to work soon. But I don't know...I feel like I want to shower and go to sleep. But I don't have time to shorrow.
I am playing a battle of the bands tomorrow after work at the hooka bar. I am not really excited about it. I am probably going to have to end up playing it alone because Brett and I haven't practiced these songs enough really.
I can't play much from When Amonia Meets Bleech because it sounds stupid acoustic if you haven't heard it already as a full band. So I have to play old Thanatron stuff, which Amanda hates, and I don't really care for much either, but they honestly really are good songs. I think I will enter them into the competition and get some recognition or something for it. Maybe get a small contract if everything goes even close to the way it should so I can have one measly fucking little break in life.
I want to sell some of my songs if I could. Get rid of them but get what they are worth at least. I know I could sell songs. I KNOW I could. But I don't know if that would mean I could never play them ever again...hmmm, that's fucking sad.
Some other fuck getting credit for my work...is that worth money?
Hah...they do say everything has a price. Which is true. Even time. Especially time. How stupid. People make up this way to cut down, disect, and pay us for stealing away precious moments of our lives.
I need to work harder at getting this shit out.
-Dane |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|04:39 am] |
I want to leave the country.
I want to leave this fucking state.
Fuck Utah.
I know why I moved back here...but god, I forgot how much I hate it here.
I think it's worth it though, for how much I love her.
I think it has to be worth it.
She lays in my arms and sometimes, I swear to god, it's the only thing I need. It's the best feeling in the world. Her dark hair spread out all over the place, with her head on my chest. Her tiny little voice telling me that she loves me. Her tiny little hands in mine. Her big huge dark brown eyes stare at me sometimes...
I'm tired though. At first I thought this might be another good promotional tool for my music, but now I am thinking that I don't even know how to show people this live journal, at least not anyone new. And I don't know...I kind of like the idea of just typing somewhere just to type. |
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| I'm new to this |
[Jul. 22nd, 2006|10:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My apartment | ] |
| [ | music |
| | music is for losers | ] |
I don't really get it...this live journal thing.
I guess I came on here to talk about music and my girlfriend and stuff like that.
I'm 21. I just turned 21. I write music under the name Dane and the Death Machine. I don't know. I don't think I will tell my girlfriend about this journal...I don't read hers. I don't even like live journal. I don't like the way the name sounds.
I don't like much of anything though.
I stay at home a lot lately. I have some gig on monday, but I can't get my bass player to practice with me, so at the risk of making him mad I am just going to tell him that I think it would be better off if I was to play the show alone. But honestly, we've only really jammed out once, and that's just not enough for a show. Or is it? I guess we will have to jam out again on another day and see what it sounds like.
I need to buy blank cd's.
I wish my girlfriend would have just stayed with me tonight. Her stupid fuck...friend or whatever he was...I heard his voice. I heard him say my name. It's not fair.
Nothing is fair though.
I don't take my medicine...maybe it's my fault.
I'm such a piece of shit loser.
I don't even know why I am doing any of this, or writing any of this, or sitting here and not sleeping like I am. I am just finding excuses to kill time. Kill time...time murdering. fuck. I should go to sleep.
I think maybe I am a narcissist. Or something to that affect. I don't know if that is the right word or not
I don't want to write this entry anymore. Maybe I will write a poem.
-Dane |
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danethemechanic's journal